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9 Questions To Answer To Identify And Meet Your Needs



If you are not clear about your needs, look at the following statements and see if a pattern emerges that will help you identify your unmet need. There are hundreds of different needs, but there are some common groups.

1. Do you answer ‘yes’ to three or more of these statements?

  • I become tense when someone is late.
  • I become annoyed by others’ sloppy standards.
  • I am a tidy and methodical person.
  • I can get snappy with disorganized people.
  • I like to have possession of the remote control.
    • Possible unmet need: To be right; to be perfect.

2. Do you answer ‘yes’ to three or more of these statements?

  • I’m always exhausted because I tend to rush around helping everyone out.
  • I know instinctively how to make people feel good.
  • I make a big effort to find out what is going on in the lives of friends and family so I can be there for them.
  • I feel outraged and resentful if people don’t appreciate me.
  • I send thoughtful presents and cards to friends and colleagues just to let them know I’m thinking of them.
    • Possible unmet need: To be approved of; to be needed; to be loved; to be cherished; to be liked.

3. Do you answer ‘yes’ to three or more of these statements?

  • When things are going well for me, I literally light up inside.
  • I work very long hours to ensure something is a success.
  • I’d rather die than be a failure.
  • I’m really aware of how friends and colleagues are doing and can be quite competitive.
  • I am great at achieving goals.
  • I have workaholic tendencies – I feel tense inside if I’m not accomplishing what I set out to do.
    • Possible unmet need: To achieve; to be successful; to feel worthwhile; to be accepted.

4. Do you answer ‘yes’ to three or more of these statements?

  • If I’m criticized or misunderstood, I sulk.
  • People say I can be difficult and too emotional, but what’s wrong with that?
  • I know how to make a really big scene if I don’t get what I want.
  • Rules are meant to be broken.
  • I tend to brood a lot about my negative feelings.
    • Possible unmet need: For acclaim; to be special; to be different; to be heard; to be understood.

5. Do you answer ‘yes’ to three or more of these statements?

  • I’m an expert in my area.
  • I love to study something in depth and really get my teeth stuck into it.
  • I am the eternal student.
  • I often lose track of time because I get carried away with what I’m doing.
  • I won’t try something new until I’m confident that I know everything I need to know.
    • Possible unmet need: To be competent; to be the expert; to be capable.

6. Do you answer ‘yes’ to three or more of these statements?

  • Anxiety is my middle name.
  • I worry about everything and everybody.
  • I like having a boss I can respect.
  • I find it difficult to make a decision without asking everyone including my friends, my parents and my colleagues first.
  • It takes me ages to change jobs.
    • Possible unmet need: For security; for safety; for support; for certainty.

7. Do you answer ‘yes’ to three or more of these statements?

  • I get bored easily.
  • I’m curious about stuff.
  • I love travelling and having fabulous holidays.
  • I am all over the place most of the time – people think I’m a bit dizzy.
  • I always feel like I’m missing out on things.
    • Possible unmet need: To be stimulated; to be free; to be satisfied.

8. Do you answer ‘yes’ to three or more of these statements?

  • I like to challenge people. No one could call me a shrinking violet.
  • I tend to have huge temper tantrums.
  • I am independent and don’t like people trying to tie me down.
  • I don’t rely on anyone.
  • I love trying to achieve the impossible.
    • Possible unmet need: To protect yourself; to determine your own course in life.

9. Do you answer ‘yes’ to three or more of these statements?

  • I’m one of life’s peacemakers – I can’t bear a scene.
  • There’s no point dwelling on the negative – is there?
  • I like my home comforts.
  • Most people tend to get too stressed about useless things – what’s the point?
  • I go with the flow.
    • Possible unmet need: For calm; for agreement; for steadiness; for peace.

The problem with our unmet needs is that we assume people know what we need and are in some way choosing to withhold their love, support or praise. That’s not the case – they simply don’t know. (If they do know and they are withholding what you need, you should ask yourself why you are spending time with these people anyway.)

Information Reference
Book: The Big Wake Up Call ~ Author: Suzy Greaves

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100 Deep Quotes And Sayings About Depression That Everyone Should Know (Part 7)




69. Depression is anger turned inward.


70. What do you want to do with your life, then? is often the question I'm asked. To be honest, I don't know. I really don't.


71. The sun stopped shining for me is all.

72. Do you know that feeling? When everything you do seems like a struggle. Where you dont wanna leave the house because you know everyone is judging you. Where you cant even ask for directions in fear that they criticise you. Where everyone always seems to be picking out your flaws. That feeling where you feel so damn sick for no reason. Do you know that feeling where you look in the mirror and completely hate what you see. When you grab handfuls and handfuls of fat and just want to cut it all off. That feeling when you see other beautiful girls and just wish you looked like them.


73. What people never understand is that depression isn't about the outside; it's about the inside. Something inside me is wrong. Sure, there are things in my life that make me feel alone, but nothing makes me feel more isolated and terrified than my own voice inside my head.


74. No reason to feel depressed about being depressed. A depression can be a golden opportunity to collect the pieces and build ourselves anew.

75. Isolation and loneliness are central causes of depression and despair.


76. Sometimes, all you can do is lie in bed, and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart.


77. Pain is always emotional. Fear and depression keep constant company with chronic hurting.

78. I never knew it was possible to be so miserable in so many ways.

79. I wanted a heaven. And I grew up striving for that world -- an eternal world- that would wash away my temporary misery.


81. If you take action while you are made, you will always make the wrong decision.

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500 Words You Should Know (Part 7)




71. Draconian

Draco was an Ancient Athenian politician who introduced a code of laws according to which a startling number of crimes were punishable by death. The adjective derived from his name therefore means exceedingly strict, severe. It’s most often used to describe such things as discipline, punishment, rules and regulations, but if a person whose views on these things were harsh they could be accused of having draconian attitudes, or indeed of being draconian himself.

72. Effrontery

Cheek, insolence, as in ‘He had the effrontery to say I never give him anything after I paid for his whole family to go on holiday last year’. Not to be confused with affronted, meaning offended, which is how the person uttering that last complaint might feel. 

73. Enormity

A commonly misused word, this does not mean enormousness. It means appallingness, great wickedness, ‘He seemed not to realize the enormity of his crime’ means he didn’t acknowledge he had done something dreadful, but not necessarily that he had wiped out an entire city.

74. Ersatz

From the German for ‘replacement’ this is an adjective describing an inferior imitation of something more valuable or attractive: ‘It was one of those twee little hotels with ersatz Victorian furniture’ or ‘Ersatz lemon meringue pie, made with some awful artificial lemon substitute.’

75. Etiolated

In the plant world, this describes a green plant that has gone pale through lack of sunlight; in human terms it means pale and weak: ‘His skin had that etiolated look of a video-game player who has spent his youth on his game console’.

76. Excoriate

This means literally to take the skin off, so metaphorically to flay someone alive, to criticize very severely. A critic might, for example, write an excoriating review of a film or play he loathed, while an angry politician might make an excoriating criticism of government policy.

77. Extravaganza

An Italian word, this time related to extravagance and meaning a very showy and elaborate performance, the sort of thing that might have been put on by Hollywood director Busby Berkeley. Special effects, fancy costumes, fireworks – you name it, an extravaganza has it. Expense is no object and taste is rarely a consideration.

78. Facile

An extract from the Atlantic Monthly dated 1900 gives a particularly damning use of this word: “The English drawing master did not teach art, but facile tricks of the brush.’ Facile comes from the Latin for easy and did once mean just that. In  modern usage, however, it has the added sense of being just a bit too easy and thus having little value: a facile victory is more or less a walkover; a facile remark is a glib one, easy to make but not requiring much thought.

79. Fallacious

In logic a fallacy is an error of reasoning that produces a misleading conclusion; fallacious therefore means illogical, misleading, as in a fallacious argument or a fallacious news report. It’s also worth being aware of what philosophers call the fallacy of many questions, of which ‘When did you stop beating your wife?’ is the most frequently given example. It means that the question presupposes something that may be false, but you can’t answer it without acknowledging the accusation. Lose-lose. 

80. Fastidious

This means picky, critical, hard to please and the Latin roots conjure up its connotations beautifully: they are the words for pride and weariness (the second part of fastidious is related to tedious and tedium). So the fastidious person looks down on something as being beneath her and manages to be bored with it at the same time. You might pick fastidiously at your food if it didn’t appeal to you or lift your trouser legs fastidiously so as not to get them wet on a rainy day. 

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